


No Matter What

by theultimatenerd04



Series: marvel song fics [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Gen, Homophobia, May Parker is a Good Bro, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Song fic, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, like seriously needs a hug, mj is not a good bro, ned is not a good bro, no matter what by calum scott, self deprication, self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 20:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21288413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theultimatenerd04/pseuds/theultimatenerd04
Summary: /When I was a young boy I was scared of growing upI didn't understand it but I was terrified of love/The first time Peter was attracted to a someone of the same sex, he thought it was a fluke but he can't deny it the next time it happens. Peter Parker is gay. He hates himself, wonders if it's punishment for killing Ben. At first, he wasn't going to tell anyone. But the guilt gets heavier and heavier. He's never kept anything from May before. He has to tell her but Peter dreads what her reaction will be. She'll hate him for sure.Song fic based on No Matter What by Calum Scott
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Peter Parker
Series: marvel song fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1531082
Kudos: 46





	No Matter What

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick trigger warning: Homophobia is a huge theme throughout this, not just from others but from Peter himself. If this is a trigger for you please don't read. Take care of yourself.
> 
> I would also just like to say that the character's opinions aren't my own. I am bisexual myself and would never give any sort of hate, especially hate like this. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy the story!

/When I was a young boy I was scared of growing up  
I didn't understand it but I was terrified of love/

Peter slowly trudged up the stairs of his apartment building, hand trailing across the wall. He usually took the stairs but today was different. Today he wanted to put as much time between walking up the stairs and entering through his apartment door.

/Felt like I had to choose but it was outta my control  
I needed to be saved, I was going crazy on my own/

He could hear his heart thundering, pounding against his ribcage. His stomach muscles tightened as he reached the landing of the first floor. He and May lived on the 3rd. Peter didn’t have much longer. 

/Took me years to tell my mother, I expected the worst  
I gathered all the courage in the world/

He stopped when the stairs came to an end. Peter was at his destination but he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be. May was his mother in all the ways that counted, even if they weren’t blood related. He knew she would hate him after this, perhaps more than he hated himself. But he couldn’t hide it anymore. Peter needed her to know.

/She said, "I love you no matter what  
I just want you to be happy and always be who you are"  
She wrapped her arms around me  
Said, "Don't try to be what you're not  
'Cause I love you no matter what"/

Peter felt a wide smile grow on his face. 

/She loves me no matter what/

May hugged him and Peter had never felt happier. She was still proud of him even though he was different. Even though he was a failure. 

/I got a little older wishing all my time away  
Riding on the pavement, every sunny day was grey/

Living and smiling got a little harder every day. Hiding his sins from Tony made the voices in his head even louder, whispering ‘you’re not good enough to work with Tony Stark. He’s just taking pity on you.’

Every time he would sit down in front of the TV with May and she would point out a cute guy, his deep hatred of himself only grew. Perhaps cursing him with this was God’s punishment of killing Ben. 

/I trusted in my friends then all my world came crashing down  
I wish I never said a thing 'cause to them I'm a stranger now/

Peter didn’t know how it got out but somehow when he went to school on Monday, everyone knew. Everyone knew how much he had sinned, how much of a failure he was. Ned and MJ confronted him at his locker. They asked if it was true. Peter didn’t reply. Couldn’t. And they knew. 

He watched helplessly as Ned’s eyes wrinkled in disgust and he walked away. Peter was left staring at MJ who looked at him with an unreadable expression. 

“MJ…”

“Michelle.” She said before following Ned. 

In that moment, Peter’s heart broke. He knew he deserved it, knew he was a sinner but knowing that fact didn’t make it hurt any less. 

/I ran home I saw my mother, it was written on my face  
Felt like I had a heart of glass about to break/

May looked at him and instantly knew. He had never felt so worthless. She opened her mouthg and Peter braced himself for the worst, for her to change her mind. 

/She said, "I love you no matter what  
I just want you to be happy and always be who you are"  
She wrapped her arms around me  
Said, "Don't try to be what you're not  
'Cause I love you no matter what"/

She sat him down and said to him “Why can’t you accept yourself? I accept you and I know Tony would as well.”

Peter opened his mouth to object. After all, Ned and MJ - Michelle - were his friends and look what happened there. 

“Ned and MJ... “ May shook her head. “If they left you as soon as they found out then they weren’t true friends. I hate to say it Peter, you know I do. They seemed really nice whenever you had them over but…”

She trailed off but Peter was too caught up in his thoughts to noticed. Mentally shaking his head, Peter pushed May’s words out of his mind. He knew he was right. May was just trying to make him feel better. 

But her words kept nagging at him as he went about his daily business until he had to concede that maybe she had a point. He started making an effort to meet up with others like him and found people that used to hate themselves just like him. He asked them how they changed and everyone’s reply was the same. They changed with the support and love of their family and loved ones. 

It felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders that he didn’t know was there. Relief washed through him. 

/Now I'm a man and I'm so much wiser  
I walk the earth with my head held higher  
I got the love that I need  
But I was still missing one special piece/

The idea occurred to him when he was with Tony in his workshop. 

“Hey, Mr. Stark?”

/My father looked at me/

Once he started speaking, the words came flooding out. Peter didn’t need to force it like he did with May. 

/He said I love you no matter what  
I just want you to be happy and always be who you are  
He wrapped his arms around me  
Said, "Don't try to be what you're not  
'Cause I love you no matter what"/

Just like with May, a huge smile pushed its way onto his face. Peter had never felt lighter in his entire life. 

/He loves me no matter what/

He had acceptance from both his parental figures and most importantly from himself. 

/They love me no matter what/


End file.
